When I was little I thought someday I would not be afraid. I would try new things with great anticipation and bravery. I would not be afraid of bad dreams, critical words or losing treasured belongings. Then I would be grown-up. What a sad day when I realized that I was grown-up and I was still scared. (Maybe even more!) The more I choose to think, feel and plan big things for my life, the more fear is my constant companion. What to do? Here are a three steps that have helped me face my fear.
Understand it.
The root of all fear is the fear that we cannot handle what happens to us. “If I am rejected I will just fall apart!” “If I fail I will never do anything again.” The truth is that when we look back at our lives bad things have already happened! We have been rejected, failed and have experienced loss but we have dealt with it and survived. It is the anticipation of what might happen that stops us not the actual negative event! I love this quote by Mark Twain,“I have lived a long life and had many troubles, most of which never happened.”
Expect it.
It is easy to begin avoiding fear by living small, never taking risk, and refusing to dream. What a boring life! Deep inside we all know that we can be and create so much more. When we choose to take the risk of dreaming big and creating amazing lives we will feel fear! The first time I taught a workshop I was shaking scared. By the second class I could breath and pass out handouts with out dropping them from my still-shaking hands. By the third class I was beginning to enjoy leading it. That is the story of fear. When we try something new we will be afraid! Expect it, take fear by the hand and say, “Come on let's go do something new!”.
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